Caught in the In Between

My goal for today was to sit and write about what was on my heart. Or on my mind. Or what God was teaching me. But every time I tried to think about what I wanted to write, I kept coming up with a big fat blank. Didn't feel inspired to share anything. Nothing witty. Thought provoking. Meaningful. Not even significant doubts or fears. Lessons not yet learned. And I decided I was going to write anyway. Sometimes there are days where you feel like, despite your best efforts - well, some effort, you are just drifting along.

Maybe the lesson is to press in on days like this. Or to purpose to look for His beauty in something. Or maybe it is just to find peace and rest knowing I am His. Even if I don't feel Him there. Even if I don't hear Him saying anything.

I found myself in a weird mood tonight. Nothing wrong, but not yet content. Something feels missing. And I'm not sure what it is. Could be knowing there is more to my life than what I'm currently doing. Maybe it is knowing there are promises from Him so far unfulfilled. Maybe He tried to draw me away today and I missed it. Maybe He had a nugget for me and I didn't want to go look for it. Maybe He is showing me how this world is not my home. That I was made to long for heaven. To gaze upon His beauty.

I feel caught in the in between. Between what I'm doing and where God has called me. Between where I'm at and what He promised me. Between this world and heaven. Neither one are home just yet. Feel like an alien in both. Maybe that's what Paul means when he talks about the path being so narrow. Others can't go with you on your journey. Because it is yours - not theirs. You must walk away from friends & security to continue walking toward Him. ... Can't help but feeling lost in the in between - even when I know I'm on the right path headed in the right direction.