So I'll go

The last week or more has been nothing but stress. The panic has set in realizing the amount of stuff that needs to happen. The To Do List is not shrinking.  It is so overwhelming that I don't even know where to start. What little I have accomplished was cleaning out my closet of the items that I have not touched or worn in years and items that don't fit. I handed off more than 4 trash bags full of clothes to a friend. I was encouraged to hear that she passed along the items she did not claim to a girl whose house had burned down. Knowing I may have been a blessing to someone going through such a hard time seemed like more confirmation that I am heading in the right direction. 

I have had a handful of these small, quiet confirmations over the last week or so. Another happened when I was burning some old boxes that had been on the back porch for far too long. I was listening to iHeart radio and a song by Marshmello called Happier came on. (It was the stripped version if you look it up.) One of the lines in the chorus is: 

"Lately, I've been, I've been thinking
I want you to be happier, I want you to be happier"

And I felt like it was God speaking to me. Telling me that He wants me to be happier than I have been over the last several years. The lines that follow are: 

"So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go
So I'll go, I'll go
I will go, go, go"

I sang to Him that I'll go. And just felt peace wash away the stress and anxiety about moving. (I mean, they came back, but that was the most peaceful moment I've had in a really long time.) 

I don't know what all this journey will have ahead of me. I don't know what I don't know. So much to figure out.  I'm sure I'll have a few more panic attacks between now and until I feel settled in L.A. But I can hold on to this small moment of clarity in my backyard watching boxes burn. 

How did I end up here?

A lot has happened over the last few days. Last few months, really. About two weeks ago, I decided to take a leap of faith and apply for a job in California. For a girl who has lived in Georgia her entire life, this was a moment of wild chaos. About 3 months ago, I was called into my doctor's office to follow up on some blood work from my annual physical. I was blindsided hearing that I am now diabetic. I know I had a family history of diabetes, but I felt fine. It was just a routine physical. Over the following weeks/months, I started realizing on a new level that I had been letting life pass me by for years.

It was almost a whim that I decided to check for job openings with my company in the LA/Santa Monica area of California. And as luck (or divine intervention) would have it, a job had just been posted. I didn't see how I could NOT apply. Right? I mean, what are the chances that I get a whim to look and it had just become available. The next two weeks are almost a blur.  I work a four day work week so every week, I have three days off. I came back to work after my long weekend. to find an email with some information about the prework to be completed. Within an hour of completing the prework, I got an email stating that I passed and asking for a phone call to go over more about the job. That call ended with setting up a role-play interview a couple days later. Shortly after I completed the role play, I received a call (that I missed), voicemail and email letting me know that the manager was ready to interview me. After a short conversation, I was offered the job. In less than two weeks time, my world is turning upside down.

I am a planner by nature. I am cautious. I think things through before acting. This big of a change freaks out the planner in me. Like full blown panic attack the night before the manager interview. But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that God's hands have been clear in this process. It has been quick - so quick that I can't think myself out of moving forward. It has been easy. I know that the position I have now accepted is a stressful job and has its share of difficulty, but the tests and interviews were not difficult. (I have definitely had harder interviews with my company.)

Stay tuned for more posts on the emotions and thoughts of the move. I want to use this forum as a way to share how different LA will be from Macon, GA.

EDIT: Please leave me comments! Knowing others are keeping up will encourage me to blog more often. It will also let me know what y'all want to hear more about.