Shimmer

I don't even know where to begin telling you about the last few days. Well, really the last couple of weeks. Overwhelming. In the best possible way. God is just pounding me over the head with such gentle nudges and whispers. Of His goodness. Of His love. For others. For ME! That I am important to Him. And not just like everyone else. But that I am His favorite! That I am chosen. That He wants to use me to impact others for Him. That He hears me. My emotions move Him. He desires good for me. He has planned good for me. All things work together for my good. That He is excited over me. Over my life. Where I am. And where He is taking me. I am overwhelmed.

He's taking things I knew about Him (in my mind) and turning them into things I know of Him (in my heart). My faith is strengthening. My belief is growing. My trust is deepening. My heart is softening. My mind is renewing.

You know how when something sparkles, there are little shimmers of light that grab you. It's not one big light that overpowers all of a sudden. But, rather, these subtle glimpses of light. They are captivating. Beautiful. That is the way God is revealing Himself to me lately. Through everything around me. These little revelations that grab my attention. That captivate me with their beauty. That draw me away.

He has definately done some big things for me in the last few days. He completely healed my cold during the sermon Sunday morning. Congestion, inflammation, headache, sore throat. Gone. And I didn't realize it until we stood to sing during the ministry time. He has provided a car for me. Through a significant anonymous donation, made it possible for me to buy a car. But even then, He used the healing and provision as ways to show me He loved me. Not just show off what He could do. I could wake up tomorrow with the flu and no car again and I would still be as much in awe of Him as I am right now. I am very thankful. But I am more thankful for Him opening my eyes to how He sees me than I am of the "stuff" He provided for me.

I want to live the rest of my life in awe over the shimmers of revelation. To see new layers of His beauty. Of His love. To be fascinated. By my Maker. My Comforter. My King. My Beloved.

With Him

When God was first inviting me on this adventure into becoming an intercessory missionary, I asked Him to grow my passion for it. To turn my weak "yes" into something I truly desired. And He has been doing that. Slowly but surely. I look forward to times when I get to sit down with my prayer list and my prayer journal and start talking to Him. When I get to lift others up in prayer. To declare goodness and blessings over their life. I'm not really sure I expected to already be noticing a difference in my desire. I thought it might take a few months. I'm not sure why I thought it would take longer, but I did. I'm not sure why I don't expect God to answer quickly.

That has been a theme of the past week or so for me. Timing. That God hears and responds quickly. Not that I didn't think He could. It had been my experience that He didn't. At least not with me. I was accustomed to waiting. I had learned to expect to wait. That patience was always the lesson. That something must change in me before He would answer. That I wasn't [fill-in-the-blank] enough for Him to respond. To give me what I asked for. To earn His favor and goodness. But that isn't the gospel. Nothing I do will ever "earn" me His goodness towards me. He is good towards me because of who HE is, not because of who I am! I knew this already, but I am still learning how to live it out. What it looks like with flesh on it. I still have to catch myself. To identify where I think it is about me. It has never been about me. It will never be about me. It is all about Him. His love. His glory. His goodness. His power. His mercy. His justice. He just invites me to join Him along the way because He likes being with me. He enjoys my company. His desire is for me. Not because of who I am, but because He designed me exactly how He wanted me. He fashioned me to be His favorite one. All I have to do is be me. With Him.