With Him

When God was first inviting me on this adventure into becoming an intercessory missionary, I asked Him to grow my passion for it. To turn my weak "yes" into something I truly desired. And He has been doing that. Slowly but surely. I look forward to times when I get to sit down with my prayer list and my prayer journal and start talking to Him. When I get to lift others up in prayer. To declare goodness and blessings over their life. I'm not really sure I expected to already be noticing a difference in my desire. I thought it might take a few months. I'm not sure why I thought it would take longer, but I did. I'm not sure why I don't expect God to answer quickly.

That has been a theme of the past week or so for me. Timing. That God hears and responds quickly. Not that I didn't think He could. It had been my experience that He didn't. At least not with me. I was accustomed to waiting. I had learned to expect to wait. That patience was always the lesson. That something must change in me before He would answer. That I wasn't [fill-in-the-blank] enough for Him to respond. To give me what I asked for. To earn His favor and goodness. But that isn't the gospel. Nothing I do will ever "earn" me His goodness towards me. He is good towards me because of who HE is, not because of who I am! I knew this already, but I am still learning how to live it out. What it looks like with flesh on it. I still have to catch myself. To identify where I think it is about me. It has never been about me. It will never be about me. It is all about Him. His love. His glory. His goodness. His power. His mercy. His justice. He just invites me to join Him along the way because He likes being with me. He enjoys my company. His desire is for me. Not because of who I am, but because He designed me exactly how He wanted me. He fashioned me to be His favorite one. All I have to do is be me. With Him.