Ready to Bloom

To protect the other party, this praise will be super vague. But I was praying for a friend Friday night. And tonight I experienced answered prayer! It was beautiful.

It's a little funny that I feel called into the House of Prayer and find myself almost surprised that God heard my prayer and chose to answer. That my request moved His heart to response. My faith and belief are so weak sometimes. I have too much head knowledge. I know the doctrine or theology but don't believe it. Not enough to trust in it. I wanna get to that point. Where my heart is ravished by Him. Where I walk in confidence of who He says I am. Where I am described as loving, joyful & compassionate. It will be uncomfortable to get there. Life as I know it won't get me there. All the more reason I want to be in the House of Prayer. To sit at His feet. Hear Him talk to me. For Him to show me His heart. For me. For others. To see Him move in, around & through me like never before. It shall be a season in the Refiner's fire. Intense. Painful. Yet beautiful when I come out of it with the lies and self-doubt burned away. I will get there. And I will die a thousand deaths to get there. It will hurt more than I think I can bear. For I can no longer live. It must be Him living in me. That is where true beauty is found. I am His garden. And I've avoided His pruning shears long enough. The weeds of my life are slowly strangling me to death. I want to bloom for Him. I cannot make myself bloom. I cannot will it to happen. But He can. And He wants to change me into a beautiful blooming garden. Beauty that draws others in. Beauty that causes others to gasp in awe of His ability.